In order to familiarize myself with Filipino culture I consult my guidebook quite frequently. It explains important things about how to act in day-to-day life that come in handy to smooth-over most situations, such as checking into a hotel, ordering food, or, let's just say for example, asking for the bill in a restaurant. It's this last one that had me hung up for a while.
The guidebook described the usual Filipino way to ask for the bill as "get the attention of your server and extend your thumb and index fingers in the shape of a rectangle". So, after finishing my meal at my first restaurant outing, I raised my right hand in the air and extended my thumb and index finger and curled up the other three fingers to get them out of the way. I positioned the two aforementioned fingers parallel to each other to make a rough three-sided rectangle shape, much like if I was about to pick up a small object by pinching it. You can imagine my surprise when the waitress looked at me in confusion and came over to see what I was gesturing for. Hello? Isn't this the normal way to ask for the bill? When she walked up to me I put my hand down and said "may I have the bill, please?" Again, a blank stare. It took a few more tries until she said something to the affect of "oh, you want the beel." Yes, sorry. Not the bill, but the beel. Again, there's the small variance in pronunciation that can make a huge difference. I was slightly annoyed that my guidebook had given me false advice, but chose to put this particular episode behind me. A few days later, at another restaurant, I decided to give the fingers-in-rectangle-shape another try. But again, the waiter didn't understand what I wanted. Come on people, doesn't this mean BILL. I wanted to open up my guidebook and point to the paragraph and say "Look, it says it right here". In the following couple of weeks I repeatedly tried to use the rectangle-finger method to ask for the bill, only to get the waiter come rushing over asking me what I needed. Dang it! I need the bill! My frustration was building. I began to think that maybe this method had fallen out of fashion. After all, the guidebook was published in 2009. Maybe in the last two years the rectangle-finger method has been banned, outlawed. Am I committing some sort of faux pas by flashing this gesture which was perfectly socially acceptable two years ago but is now considered the equivalent of flipping the bird? Should I expose my ignorance and ask the nearest stranger why the heck I get confused looks when I execute the recommend rectangle-finger method? I was so confused.
The light bulb moment came one day when I was eating at a pizza place. I had long since abandoned all attempts at using the rectangle-finger method and was now just saying the world "beel" whenever the server got within earshot. I had finished eating a delicious pepperoni pizza and was ready to leave when I looked over and saw a man at a nearby table getting the server's attention. To the untrained eye it appeared he was setting up a make-shift goal post so someone could kick an almond-sized football through his hands. To my fully trained eye, however, all the confusing and perplexing situations of the past came flooding out of my brain and an energizing enlightenment took over. OHHHHH! You don't make the rectangle with one hand. You make "L" shapes with the thumb and index fingers on each hand, then touch the thumb tips together! OHHHHH! Ha ha ha. That's why all those servers never had a clue that I was asking for the bill. All this time I was showing them a hand gesture that makes absolutely no sense. They probably thought I had a hand cramp or something. I was excited to try it out for myself. I poised myself to flash the correct sign, and after catching the attention of my waitress I confidently showed her the correct hand signal. She knew exactly what I was saying. Phew! And I didn't even have to say "beel".
I'm currently staying at a hostel in Baguio where I've stayed before. This place is nice and clean, with a small restaurant on the first floor as an added bonus. I eat there a lot because the prices are modest and some of the food is good. Because I've been thoroughly unimpressed with Filipino food I usually order the Chicken Curry from the menu. This dish is good except for one thing: the chunks of chicken have small bones in them. I've found it difficult to eat the chicken pieces because of the small bones, mainly because of the fact that Filipinos never provide a knife at the place setting (try cutting chicken with a spoon). This usually means half the chicken ends up being thrown away. One time I picked up each small piece of chicken individually and ate it using my fingers. The huge downside was I wasted about 40 paper napkins in the process. So...tonight I asked the waitress if I could get the chicken curry without the chicken. The dish usually comes with assorted vegetables accompanying the chicken. To save the hassle of having to cut bones out with a spoon or pull small bones out of my mouth after every other bite, I wanted to have just a vegetable curry. Should be simple. However, when I asked if I could have the chicken curry with no chicken and possibly extra vegetables, the waitress proceeded to name off every vegetable that's in the dish. Eggplant, potato, bell-pepper, carrot, etc. Ummm...no. Sorry, but I'm trying to ask for no chicken. I want only vegetables. Blank stares. I then inexplicably resorted to Spanish: solamente vegetables por favor. That did nothing to help me. Not only do Filipinos not understand a lick of Spanish, but their English isn't as good as most people will want you to believe (side note: I know this makes me sound like an ignorant western tourist who expects everyone to understand MY language and see no reason for me whatsoever to make an effort to understand theirs). After going back and forth with "please no chicken, only vegetables" and "Sir, it has eggplant, potato, etc, etc", I finally decided to scrap the idea and said "I'll just have the chicken curry, please". As I waited for my meal to come I realized in horror that perhaps in all the confusion the waitress had misconstrued my request and will bring me a dish with only chicken, no vegetables. Damn. What will I do then? My irrational fear was proved wrong when the dish came out with a heaping plate of chicken and vegetables in curry sauce with steaming rice. It was very good. And, as usual, I was pulling small bones out of my mouth the whole meal.
Well, that's all for now. I hope every one is having a great time in other parts of the world. Take care!
Pat
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